Wife SMS

‘Wife SMS’

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Bivi : {shohar se} ghar mehman aarhe hen
Bivi : {shohar se} ghar mehman aarhe hen
or ghar men dal ke siwa kuch nhi he
lehaza jab mehman aajaen tu tum kichan men jakr 1 brtan giran
Men puchon tu kehna QORMA gir gya
phir 2sra brtan gira dena or kehna BRYANi gir gei
tu men khon gi chalo Dall hi le ao .
Mehmano ke aane ke bad shohar kichan men gya
aur brtan gir ne ki aawaz aai
bivi kya hwa ..
Shohar : begam Dall hi gir gaei :
Difference between Dava and Daru!
Difference between Dava and Daru!
Dava like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date
Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
A Wife hit her Husband with a Frying Pan.
A Wife hit her Husband with a Frying Pan.
Husband:What was THAT for?
Wife:I found a paper in your pocket, with the name Jenny on it.
Husband:I played RACE last week and Jenny was the name of my HORSE.
Wife:Sorry!
Next day the Wife hit him with the Frying Pan AGAIN!
Husband:Why?
Wife:Your Horse PHONED!
2 Married Men Talking-
2 Married Men Talking-
10yrs Ago,
Whenever I Returned Home,
My Dog Used To Greet Me By Barking & My Wife By Kissing.
Now They Both Exactly Do The Opposite
Jab se begum ne mujhe murgha bana rakha hai,
Jab se begum ne mujhe murgha bana rakha hai,
Main ne nazron ki tarhan sir bhi jhuka rakha hai,
Bartano aaj mere sir pe baraste q ho,
Main ne dho dha k tumhain kitna saja rakha hai,
Roz leti he talashi wo police ki manind,
Pochti he kahan paison ko chupa rakha hai,
Wohi dunya main muqaddar ka sikandar tehra,
Husband: Meri BV Gum ho Gae Hay!
Husband: Meri BV Gum ho Gae Hay!
Post Master: Andhay ye post office hay,
Police Station jao.
Husband: Maaf Kejeay Ga Khushi may Smjh nai a Rha Kidhar jaaon?
Husband aur wife in hotel
Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha,”Koun Thi Wo?”
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.
Wife: If I die what will u do?
Wife: If I die what will u do?
Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!
Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai
Tumhain ghalat fehmi hoi hay
Wife:kal rat tum mujhey neend
mein galian kion de rahey thai?
Husband: tumhey ghalat fehmi hoi hai..
Wife: kesi ghalat fehmi?
Husband: yehi k mein neeend mein tha
How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1.Janu
Yr 2.O G.
Yr 3.Sunte ho?
Yr 1.O bunty k pappa
Yr 1.Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 1.Tum aate ho k main aaon?
Isi lie to jannat kehte hain
Wife:Suna he k jannat me husband
k sath Wife ko nahi rehne dete
HUSBAND! sahi suna he,
Wife: aisa kion?
Husband: Arey pagli isi liye to
usey jannat kehte hain
Tum Ne Kabhi Socha Hai K Meri Shaadi
WIFE: Tum Ne Kabhi Socha Hai K Meri Shaadi Kisi Aur Se Ho Jaati To Kya Hota?”
HUSBAND: Nahi, Main Ne Kabhi Kisi Ka Bura Nahi Socha…!
AGAr MRe HaTh MeiN HUk0mAt H0 T0 MeIn
Husband:
AGAr MRe HaTh MeiN HUk0mAt H0 T0 MeIn MulK KI TAqdEEr BAdAL DUn GAa..!!;->
Wife:
Tm PHleY ApNi ShAlwAr BadaL L0 SuBhA Se Ulti PeHni HuEy HEy:-P…..=P
Aapko Mera ßanaya Hua Halwa Pasand aya
ßiwi §Hohar §Y: Aapko Mera ßanaya Hua Halwa Pasand Nai Aaya ßachy To 3 Palaiten Kha Çhuky Han
Andar §Y Awaz Ai Mama 1 Palate Aur Dena 1 Kitab Ki Jilad Reh Gæ Hai
Yesterday night I saw a dream
Wife: yesterday nite I saw a Dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!

Birthday Sms message

Life has its moments
And sisters like you
Makes them unforgettable
Very very happy birthday
~Birthday Sms Text Message~

Okay, I may have lots of friends
But .................
Believe Me!!!!!!!!!!
You're the SWEETEST Honey

Happy Birthday To You
~Birthday Sms Text Message~

As the candles get added to your cake
I'll be looking forward
to adding many more years
to our friendship!
Happy Birthday To You
~Birthday Sms Text Message~

Your birthday is a celebration
of the special bond we share
sending you my sweet wishes to say
hope your day is as wonderful
as you are
happy birthday
~Birthday Sms Text Message~

As the years go by
some get older
but .....................
you only get warmer to me
Happy Birthday To You
~Birthday Sms Text Message~

Fool SMS Text Message

Why do U think I SMS u ?
Is it because I care ? Or I miss u ?
Or I love u ? Or I need You ? No ! It's b'coz...
I need a person for just time pass

Computer SMS Text Message

A computer does not substitute for judgment any more than a pencil substitutes for literacy. But writing without a pencil is no particular advantage.~Computer SMS Text Message~

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.~Computer SMS Text Message~

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.~Computer SMS Text Message~

A final word: I am not knowledgeable about the internet. I do not have a computer. I guess that at 74 years of age, I don't have the patience to learn.~Computer SMS Text Message~

A graphic representation of data abstracted from the banks of every computer in the human system. Unthinkable complexity. Lines of light ranged in the nonspace of the mind, clusters and constellations of data. Like city lights, receding.~Computer SMS Text Message~

All of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness.~Computer SMS Text Message~

And so every one of us in the FBI, I don't care if it's a file clerk someplace or an agent there or a computer specialist, understands that our main mission is to protect the public from another September 11, another terrorist attack.~Computer SMS Text Message~

And then you start getting into the technical side of it and the aesthetic side and with those areas you can come up with new ways to visualise things, new ways to render and use the computer to make things look different and new and stuff like that.~Computer SMS Text Message~

As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.~Computer SMS Text Message~

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.~Computer SMS Text Message~

Computers must be male. As soon as you commit to one you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the day.~Computer SMS Text Message~

Computers, huh? I've heard it all boils down to just a bunch of ones and zeroes.... I don't know how that enables me to see naked women, but however it works, God bless you guys.~Computer SMS Text Message~

Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.~Computer SMS Text Message~

Hardware: where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company's hardware section will tell you the problem is.~Computer SMS Text Message~

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.~Computer SMS Text Message~

I am the Blue Screen of Death.~Computer SMS Text Message~
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in.~Computer SMS Text Message~

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.~Computer SMS Text Message~
Information technology and business are becoming inextricably interwoven. I don't think anybody can talk meaningfully about one without the talking about the other.~Computer SMS Text Message~

No one hears your screams.~Computer SMS Text Message~
Software is like entropy: It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys the Second Law of Thermodynamics; i.e., it always increases.~Computer SMS Text Message~

Spreadsheet: a kind of program that lets you sit at your desk and ask all kinds of neat "what if?" questions and generate thousands of numbers instead of actually working.~Computer SMS Text Message~

There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network.~Computer SMS Text Message~

There is a computer disease that anybody who works with computers knows about. It's a very serious disease and it interferes completely with the work. The trouble with computers is that you 'play' with them!~Computer SMS Text Message~

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.~Computer SMS Text Message~
Today it is not working~Computer SMS Text Message~

Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.~Computer SMS Text Message~

Daring SMS Text Message

>A fart is a flying planet, created by God and produced by men!~Daring Sms Text Message

>A woman is a marvellous creation, she produces milk without eating grass, she bleeds without being hurt, gets wet even when it does not rain and sucks without needing power.~Daring Sms Text Message

>He kisses her gently on the lips. She does not feel comfortable, squeezes her legs, and so his glasses broke.~Daring Sms Text Message

>I am born this way, but what is your excuse?~Daring Sms Text Message

>I like your style ... I like your class ... but most of all I like your ass~Daring Sms Text Message

>I love the sea, I love the rocks, but when I see you I need to puke !~Daring Sms Text Message

>I wish you lots of itching and short arms.~Daring Sms Text Message

>If I ever die because of marihuana, mark on my grave, I am too stoned to get up!
~Daring Sms Text Message

>If you did not have any feet, would you wear shoes?? ...no... why do you wear a bra????!!! ~Daring Sms Text Message

>It is red and it taps on the window .................... A baby in a microwave. ~Daring Sms Text Message

>Nice hair, a shame that you sit on it.~Daring Sms Text Message

>Oké honey, we will try one more time!! How do you spell 'IQ' ?~Daring Sms Text Message

>On the door of a toilet....Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like
thunder!~Daring Sms Text Message

>Roses are red ... Violets are blue ... but a face like yours belongs in the zoo !!!~Daring Sms Text Message

>Roses are red violets are blue, shit stinks and so do you!~Daring Sms Text Message

>Some people die. Others become a teacher...~Daring Sms Text Message

>The more the merrier. The more women, the more prettier.~Daring Sms Text Message

>When are you really full of confidence? .............. If you fart having diarrhoea.
~Daring Sms Text Message

>When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I'm a lady and I play with boys!!~Daring Sms
Text Message

>Why do men fart more often than women ? Because women do not keep their mouth shut long
enough to build up the pressure..~Daring Sms Text Message

>Will we play the hulk together??.....I will be tall and strong and you green and ugly!! ~Daring Sms Text Message

>Women are just like frogs. They have a big mouth and are scared of the stork.~Daring Sms
Text Message

>You have the face of a saint...a Saint-Bernard! ~Daring Sms Text Message

>You know when you are really too fat? When you are on the beach and Greenpeace carries you back to the sea. ~Daring Sms Text Message

Fathers Day SMS Text Message

The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>So many wonderful moments we have spent together, so many wonderful years in all kinds of weather, thinking of u father brings memories to mind, wonderful moments i ll treasure, these u give me sincerely that's why my dad , I love u so dearly.
Happy Father's Day My dear dad!
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Every mother generally hopes that
her daughter will snag a better husband
than she managed to do…
.
but
.
she’s certain that her boy will never
get as great a wife as his father did.
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Life has 5 stars.
Kind star is MOTHER.
Action star is FATHER.
Ultimate star is TEACHER.
Top star is LOVER.
The super star is FRIEND.
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Dad, your guiding
hand on my shoulder
will remain with me forever.
Happy Father’s Day
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>So many wonderful moments we have spent together,
so many wonderful years in all kinds of weather,
thinking of u father brings memories to mind,
wonderful moments i ll treasure,
these you give me sincerely that’s why my dad ,
I love you so dearly.
Happy Father’s Day My dear dad
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>The greatest gift
I ever had
Came from God;
I call him Dad!
Happy Father’s Day
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>I want to go back to the time,
When getting high meant on a swing.
When drinking meant applie juice.
When Mom was the only Hero.
When Dad shoulders were the highest place on earth.
When the only thing that could hurt,
were skinned knees.
When the only things broken were toys.
and
When good bye meant Tommorrow.
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>One
father
is
more
than
a
hundred
School
masters.
Happy Father’s Day
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Thanks for being there through the tears,
laughter and dirty diapers. Happy Father’s Day!
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>God made a father who is,
as sweet as a nectar,
as brave as a lion,
as cheerful as a bear,
and he gave such dear father to me.
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>If the relationship of
father to son could
really be reduced to biology,
the whole earth would blaze
with the glory of fathers and sons.
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>I know just the person who needs “101 Ways to Be a Great Dad”.
Don”t worry it isn”t you! Happy Fathers”Day!
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Happy Father's Day means more than flowers and gifts
It means saying 'Thank You'
It means saying 'I Love You'
You are the best dad, and my best friend
Today is your day.
Let's celebrate it together.
Cheers!
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Daddy you are the best,
although you live in the west.
stay the way you are,
while your driving your sports car.
You couldn’t be a better dad
oh yeah, don’t go driving around mad
I love you for ever
’cause you’r really clever
Even though i puss and shove
I will still show all my love
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>A Father Is Someone That
Holds Your Hand At The Fair
Makes Sure You Do What Your Mother Says
Holds Back Your Hair When You r Are Sick
Brushes That Hair When It Is Tangled Because Mother Is Too Busy
Lets You Eat Ice Cream For Breakfast
But Only When Mother Is Away
He Walks You Down The Aisle
And Tells You Everything Gonna Be Ok
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>I”d go through stretch marks again for you.
Happy Fathers” Day, darling husband.
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>God gave me the greatest gift I ever had,
God gave me a best friend in the form of my dad.
Father’s Day wishes for a dad who is one in a million!
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Happy Fathers Day
Happy Fathers day means more
than have a happy day
It means i love you first of all
Then thanks for all you do
It means you mean a lot to me
and that I honor you
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Some things are just better the way they are like you!
Happy Fathers”Day!
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>For the best dad who always had a smile for me.
Though we may be far apart right now,
But here’s a big hug and kiss for you
To let you know how special you are
Happy Father’s Day!
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Be kind to the father,
for when they were young,
Who loved these so fondly as he?
He caught the first accents that
fell from the tongue,
And joined in the innocent glee
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>It is easier for a father to have children
than, for children to have a real father.
I’m glad to have u Dad, Happy Father’s Day!
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Thanks for being there through the tears, laughter and dirty
diapers. Happy Father”s Day!
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>To my dad on his day,
Of whom I am a living will:
May your happiness fulfill
Your goodness, as is just and right.
Deeds are seeds upon the night
As wind and wonder have their way,
Delivering the destined light.
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Dad you are never wrong
The only time you are wrong
is when you think,
I forgot about you.
Love you Dad!
Have a grand Father’s Day!
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Fathers need not fathers be.
All one needs to do is choose
To love for life, and that embrace,
Held long and hard, bestows the grace
Each craves. For all in time must lose,
Restored alone by memory.
So now it is with you and me.
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>So many wonderful moments we have spent together,
So many wonderful years in all kinds of weather,
Thinking of u father brings memories to mind,
Wonderful moments i ll treasure,
These u gave me sincerely thats why my dad ,
I love u so dearly.
Happy Father’s Day
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Fathers can be solitary mountains,
All their love rock-like, steep, and strong.
Though warm and caring, somehow they belong
Halfway home to mothers’ bubbling fountains.
Each of us needs love that knows no quarter,
Reminding us of bonds that cross a border,
Strengthening our sense of right and wrong.
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Happy Happy Father’s Day
Here’s A Little Song To Say
“Happy, Happy Father’s Day”
No One’s Father Is So Sweet.
Your Kind Ways Just Can’t Be Beat.
Happy Happy Father’s Day;
I Love You In A Big Way!!
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Daddy, I love you
For all that you do.
I’ll kiss you and hug you
‘Cause you love me, too.
You feed me and need me
To teach you to play,
So smile ’cause I love you
On this Father’s Day
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>I Cannot Think Of
Any Need In Childhood
As Strong As The Need
For A Father’s Protection.
Happy Father’s Day!
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>F.A.T.H.E.R.S.
“F” aithful.
“A” lways there.
“T” rustworthy.
“H” onoring.
“E” ver-loving.
“R” ighteous.
“S” upportive.
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>If father is happy then God is happy and if father is angry the God also angry so try to happy your father.
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>Little girl & her father crossing a bridge.
Father Said: Please hold my hand
Girl: No dad.. You hold my hand.
Father: Whats the difference?
Girl: If I hold your hand & something happens to me.
Chances are that I may let your hand go,
but if you hold my hand,
I know for sure,
you will never let my hand go..!
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

>You’ve seen me laugh
You’ve seen me cry
And always you were there with me
I may not have always said it
But
thanks and I love you
Happy Father’s Day
~Fathers Day SMS Text Message~

Angry SMS Text Message

>"Anger is the only evil which makes love invisible for a minute.
And love is the only suspicious thing which is visible even after anger.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>Never get angry. Never make a threat. Reason with people.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>If you would cure anger, do not feed it. Say to yourself: ‘I used to be angry every day; then every other day; now only every third or fourth day.’ When you reach thirty days offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the gods.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>An angry husband returned home one night to find his wifein bed with a naked man. ‘What are you doing’ he shouted.To which his wife said to her lover ‘See, I told you he was stupid’
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>ANGER is an acid that does more harm to the vessel in which it is stored, that to anything on which it is poured.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>There is nothing more galling to angry people than the coolness of those on whom they wish to vent their spleen.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>If you're angry at a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug - which is all the more reason to do so. It's hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that's precisely what happens when we hug each other.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, "You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!" Tryinghis best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, "Take it easy Dear, Can't you see I'm trying to taper off?"
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>Do something that makes a difference - because, by God, there's a lot to make you angry.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>Events will take their course, it is no good of being angry at them; he is happiest who wisely turns them to the best account.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>God made daylight n called it the SUN.
God made entertainment n called it FUN.
God made nightlight n called it the MOON.
God made U n called CARTOON.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>How to catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and just be yourself.
Squirrels will come to you on their own.
Because they just love NUTS .
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>I am a dog and u r a flower,
so let me lift my leg n give u a shower!
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
~Angry SMS Text Message~

>I feel the anger rize up in me
The same anger
That makes me bleed
Inside
In my heart and in my soul
Killing me.
~Angry SMS Text Message~